The Phantom Meets The Fairly Odd Parents
by lourdesmont
Summary: The evil and horribly disfigured scion of Beautiful People gets two little winged creatures to grant his Every Wish. And we all know wishes are not to be taken seriously...


_**Author's Note:**__ After all the sadness of these last months – and in an effort to find joy and humor once again – I am letting lose my "Snarky Gene" and resurrecting something begun a long time ago. Misspellings, tackiness, poor grammar and "the stoopyd" all reside here. _

CHAPTER ONE

Siobhan Maryse Suzette was a very pretty lady with bright green eyes and long flowing bright golden hair. She was so lovely that she was a top model whose face was known all over the world. And since she such a world famous model she married rich, reclusive nerd named Bobby-Bill Jo-Bob Roberts. Bobby-Bill Jo-Bob loved Siobhan Maryse Suzette's ample but still pert bosom. And Siobhan Maryse Suzette loved all Bobby-Bill Jo-Bob's money.

It was a marriage made in heaven and sprinkled with the love dust of the choirs of angels.

One day Siobhan Maryse Suzette went to get a tan at her local tanning saloon. She walked into the room with the attendent who drooled and groveled before her incredible loveliness. The attendent opened the tanning bed and bowed before Siobhan Maryse Suzette, walking backwards out of the tanning booth, because Siobhan Maryse Suzette was such a godly queen.

Siobhan Maryse Suzette waited until the door was closed being the groveling, now hump-backed attendent and turned her sparkling green orbs to the glowing tanning bed. She was walking across the shiny, waxed tiled floor when a mouse scurried across her path. Siobhan Maryse Suzette screamed in amazed, utter horror! No one would ever dare to allow such a fowl creature to cross the path where her delicate feet walked. Siobhan Maryse Suzette stumbled on the slippery, shiny tiled floor and fell into the glowing tanning bed where its back fell on her back.

Her high-pitched, pathetic yet terrified screams penetrated threw-out the tanning salon. Many slobbering, glovering attendents came running to her rescue. They saved her life and her beautiful, soft, golden glowing skin from being burned by the evil, scary tanning bed. But it was too late for the little child she did not yet even realize she was carrying.

She had been frightened by the tanning bed!

When the baby boy of Siobhan Maryse Suzette and Bobby-Bill Jo-Bob Roberts was born, he had a lovely head of dark hair that his parents thought was lovely. When they looked at his face, tho, they drew back in horror. The evil tanning bad that had scared his mummy, left its horrible mark upon the poor, innocent infant.

The baby had a really bad sunburn that covered one side of his face!

It was so horrible that no plastic surgeon – not even Doctor 90210 – could save him. Not all his mummy's and daddy's bazillion dollars could save his face. There was nothing that could be done! The child of the really rich guy with the long funny name and the pretty lady with the huge but still pert bosoms was doomed to a life as an outcast.

This little boy – whose parents named him Erik – was a lonely boy. He had parents who neglected him as they jetted around the world and he would only see their faces on magazine covers. He had an evil, mean babysitter named Jean who carried a great big paddle for spanking any poor, sweet little child she babysat for. Erik even fell in love with the pretty little girl who lived next door whose name was Christine. But Christine loved the little boy who lived next to her in the other house whose name was Raoul. Her and Raoul could often be seen in her backyard playing with her scarf or with Roule's engineous plane with its ingenious engines.

Poor sweet, little Erik.

Who was there to love the neglected little boy with the really bad sunburn?

Erik did not think there would be ever, ever, never, ever, never, ever ever be anybody who would love him!

Then one day after Jean came to babysit and through Erik into his room to go to bed at 6:15 so she could watch TV, Erik fell to his knees and prayed for someone who would come and love him so he would not have to grow up to be a psycho, stalkery murdering kind of creep like he saw on all those shows on Court TV.

Suddenly his whole bedroom went "POOF!!". Big, bright, glowing stage lights magically appeared above a stage that glowed with multi-colored lights. And two little creatures with wings and floaty crownie things appeared before Erik's stunned and amazed but still glowing golden eyes!

The little guy with the green hair said – "I'm Cosmo!"

And the little lady with the pink hair said – "And I'm Wanda!"

And together they said – "And we're your fairy godparents!"

And a smile grew on sweet, little Erik's sunburned face as he realized he could grow up to be a psycho, stalkery murdering kind of creep with amazing magical powers!

Christine would be his!

And Roll would be toast. And not the buttered kind, either.

Erik's sweet but maniacal laugh echoed threw his house.


End file.
